Archive for the ‘ romance (or lack thereof) ’ Category

Sometimes You Gotta Let It Go

I’m a working girl again (you’re going to be hearing this many, many times), which means I’ve got a little bit of income to spend on not-so-necessary items.

Things like the Elsa Paretti intial pendants at Tiffany. (Do you really have to ask which one?)

I didn’t get the necklace. Tiffany ran out of a lot of the alphabet during Mother’s Day and I have to wait for more to be made. But that’s a post for another day.

However, due to the failure of being able to splurge on one ridiculously expensive item, I figured I’d balance it out by getting formerly expensive items that were now on sale. *cough*Anthropologie*cough*

Fate decided that I wouldn’t buy anything, but chose to throw something from my past in my face instead.

I walked into my old retail employment place at the Grove, just to see if anything caught my eye. No material goods did, but I saw someone I used to work with standing at the cashwrap.

It could have been a happy reunion, but this person in particular was a failed crush.

Actually, it was a little bit more than a crush at the time. Pseudo-dating you might have called it. I was thrilled: a straight guy who was interested in me in the world of retail? Can I get a “SAY WHAT?!”

We did a lot of the subtle things two people do when they’re into each other. I’d sit next to him during the AM meeting. He’d grab my arm when we passed by the clock. I’d try to wake him up in the break room by blowing on his ear. He’d pull me aside at a party to try and sneak in a kiss.

There were problems. He was on the rebound with a kid. I was leaving the world of retail to go into the world of hospitality. Not a whole lot of opportunity to try and make a relationship. We attempted to make one last stab at going on a real date, but it ended up with us awkwardly sitting across the room from each other in his apartment.

The last time I actually spoke to him in person was about two or three years ago. He was [still] working at the same retail location and looked exhausted. I said hello, we chatted for a little bit, and I suggested that we catch up over coffee or something. He agreed, and I reconfirmed that the number logged in my phone was still current.

Once I got home, I sent a text, saying it was good to see him.

The response I got back? “I don’t know who this is.”

Oh well.

I’m going to admit that for a split second, I thought about going up to him to say hello. However, I’ve come to realize that there are certain things you have to pass on, even though there’s that little bit of you tucked away inside that would like to try and at least make things civil.

So I did a quick walkthrough of the Women’s Floor, threw one last glance at him, and then walked out the door.

Sexting The Letter Kae

This is a true story.

Two weeks ago I went out on a coffee date with a guy from the internet. It went well enough to try and do a second meetup. We tried to do a dinner date the following week, but then I received a text message from the coffee date guy that read:

Hey K, my friend is taking an early SF flight tomorrow and he’s just going to crash on the futon. Let’s pospone another day soon. Back to catch some ass

I thought he was being a tad bit forward for ending like that, but a couple of seconds later, another text came with the rest of the sentence. And it wasn’t dirty in the least.

Doggies are a Girl’s Best Friend

So back in 2004, I received the worst Valentine’s Day gift ever from my then boyfriend. What’s funny is that the general response I’ve received since posting that entry is this: NO ONE SHOULD EVER SEND CARNATIONS. EVER.

Normally Valentine’s Day makes me want to pull the sheets over my head and groan. The candy, the overpriced menus, the fake sentiment…I have to fight the urge to gag. (I think the feminine traits I was supposed to receive before the stork dropped me off got mixed up somewhere. I am kind of intrigued of being made up of “snakes and snails and puppy dog tails” – who doesn’t love puppy tails?) My mom often complains that I’m not a romantic and usually has to kick me out of the room whenever something horribly sappy comes on: “You’ve Got Mail,” “Kate and Leopold,” “An Affair to Remember,” or, worst case scenario, something on Lifetime Original Movies. >_<

However, I just realized that I get to spend tomorrow with someone special. Very special. Someone I know I love with all of my heart and would gladly die for.

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Tomorrow is an adoption fair at the Healthy Spot with Bill Foundation. I’ll be there for most of the afternoon, basking in huge amounts of love. Sure, he can’t actually say he loves me, but when I get that accidental head butt in his eagerness to give me a kiss, I know there’s love behind it.

Bonus! A second blog post will follow later today, as it is also New Year’s Day on the Chinese lunar calendar. That story will lean more towards bittersweet, as the person who is the focus of the story passed away.

A Valentine’s Day Gift

Only once in my life have I received a Valentine’s Day gift from someone to which I was not related. I feel like I’ve failed in some way being a girl during my twenty-seven years on this planet, but then again, I never was much of one to actually be in a relationship.

My one and only Valentine’s Day gift has a sad but funny twist to it, and will probably only be understood by ladies why I was disappointed, but is worth sharing. (And yes, my ex-boyfriend has been advised that I will share this story with the three number of you who read my blog.)

I had always been up front about flowers with guys. They’re gorgeous, but why would you want to dish out $80 on an arragement that slowly dies in front of you over the course of a 40-hour work week? For that amount, we could have gone out to dinner, had a few drinks, and then rounded out the evening with a kinky night in bed. If you have to get me flowers, then please consider the potted kind. Easier maintenance, cheaper, and my dog is less likely to try and ingest said plant. (Out of the 6 or so guys that I’ve dated, only one found a loophole to my logic. I’m that picky.)

Anywho! Back to the original topic.

My then-boyfriend informed me that he was getting me flowers for Valentine’s Day and that I should keep an eye out for a delivery at work. I had hinted at a few lavender bushes earlier and was excited at the possibility of having something fragrant on my desk. My boyfriend was not well versed in the functions of a long-term relationship, but he’d been trying to put in a little more effort and I had to give him credit for the idea of sending flowers.

I figured I could also do something cheesy and ordered him a mixed dozen of roses to be sent to him at work. According to him, he’d gotten a few compliments on the flowers and my romantic gesture.

In the meantime, I was waiting for my arrangement to show up. I couldn’t wait to see what he picked out. This was kind of exciting – being a girl who never received a Valentine’s Day gift from a boy, I couldn’t help but feel giddy. And I was touched to know that he was trying to get our relationship to work.

Then the arrangement arrived.

White carnations with baby’s breath and some yellow daisy-like flowers serving as an accent in a glass square container.

You can’t look a gift horse in the mouth, and I was trying really hard to be upbeat about the sitaution. All girls wanted horses at some point in their life, right?

Except I never really went through the horse/pony phase. Probably because my parents let me have a dog instead.

The arrangement looked like the kind you buy at the hospital for patients or the kind ladies send to their female friends to celebrate special occasions: a non-milestone birthday, a friendship bouquet, “Congrats on your new job!” floral basket…

My flowers said this to me: “I Love You As a Friend.”

Even trying to tell myself it wasn’t that bad didn’t help. My female co-workers would pause at my desk, “ooh” over the arrangement, and then ask if my parents or my grandmother had sent it. I tried to ignore that moment when their face fell when I told them my boyfriend had sent it.

I knew it was bad when one of the Directors asked me what kind of guy my boyfriend was for sending me carnations.

When some time had passed, I asked my boyfriend what prompted him to pick out that particular arrangement. I didn’t want to crush him, but I wanted to know why that one stood out as the sign of his affection for me.

“The vase was green, and I know that’s your favorite color” is what he told me. :\

Although the floral message that came with his gift wasn’t romantic (not his fault though – I don’t think many straight men know that there are meanings behind the color and type of flower), and it didn’t really make me fall for him all over again, I do give him credit for at least trying. And even though we only lasted for another 10 months or so, I can thank him for giving me my first real Valentine’s Day gift.

Oh yeah. I also thank him for helping me confirm that Valentine’s Day is overrated, and that my favorite gifts still come from my grandma – cookies or $5 in the mail. :)

Celebrity Crush

I think I want to marry this man. I loved Home Movies when it first came out on Adult Swim and was thrilled to discover that its creator was kinda cute.

I know it’s a break from my usual type, but he’s got the other traits I find hot in the opposite sex: a cartoonist, a guitarist, and a dog lover:



*swoon* That last line says it all. :)

A good part of my crush could be that he’s got a dog whom he adores (yes, I could possibly date a guy just to get close to his pet), but what’s not to like?

If any of you know Mr. Small and could possibly introduce me…

I Gots Me Some Variety (Finally!)

But it’s not that much different. It’s still a brunette white man. He may or may not wear glasses. I probably will never know, as we do not work in the same location.

Ladies and Gentlemen, my Corporate Crush:

PaulBrown2

The first image sent out when he joined the company.


paul

The most recent image from a press release.


Finally, someone in Corporate America who puts butterflies in my stomach.

Sold Seperately

A couple of weeks ago I wandered down to our IT department to grab the manager (one of the members of the Yellow Peril) for lunch. We were just walking out of the office when one of the switchboard operators bumped into us.

“Oh lovey, you two would make a cute couple,” she said in her heavy British accent.

The IT manager and I glanced at each other, then laughed and shook our heads.

“No way! He’s like my cousin,” I said.

“You two look very nice together,” she insisted.

“Nope. That would be incest.”

“I still think you two make a cute couple!”

That was the last thing she shouted at us as we rounded the corner to the elevator.

I realize that it could look cute when two people of different sex but similar ethnicities stand next to each other. Up until recently my whole family was comprised of Japanese people (I’d have to dig deep to find out we married into a Chinese or Russian family). However, as scandalous as it sounds, I like dating other races. The last Asian I went on a “date” with was back in high school and you can guess how that ended. (I think his mother was ready to talk about marital arrangements – creepy!)

I guess I could look good whenever I stand next to an Asian guy, but for the love of Buddha, please don’t assume that he’s the one. I’m not an electrical outlet made for a specific plug.

Unless you’re James Iha. Then I’ll marry you in a heartbeat.

Happy [Belated] Anniversary!

I never remembered my parents’ wedding anniversary. My mom takes offense, but I always have to remind her, “I wasn’t there.” So I’m going to make up for it now.

Yesterday my parents celebrated their 35th. In light of the recent (and over-publicized) split between Jon and Kate, it seems amazing that they’ve stayed together for that long. Add the two years they dated before getting married, and it seems even more incredible.

All because a girl on vacation in Hawaii thought the Front Desk manager was cute.

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Their plans after they got married were as follows:

1. Get a house.
Old Photo


2. Get a dog.
Old Photo


3. Have a kid.
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When You Realize You Need Variety 1.5

My long-time crush has since become a closed chapter (only because it had the threat of becoming real). With that out of my system, you’d think I’d stop looking at the dark haired, bespectacled male.

My newest crush looks kinda like this:
geek-chex

He knows who he is, if he reads this blog at all.


There’s no hair on this rectangle, but the person in question is a brunette.

jamesspader-10-17-2004-5
Not a true brunette, but damn, he’s hot.


And of course, I still have my other favorites:

janeadamsmichaelpanesanv

verizon

eternalsunshine

steve brady

Where’s the Mystery?

I’ve got to say, being a single girl who primarily networks through the internet for “normal” people is tricky. It’s not so much in trying to find someone to date, but coming across someone who’s comfortable enough to communicate via chat and email in a similar way as they would with people they meet at cocktail parties. (Yes, I realize that libations probably help more. But still…)

As of late it almost seems like guys aren’t really trying to keep the mystery any more when they try to hit a girl up. Traditional roles say that I should be the one who makes the guy work for it, but there have been a few occasions where the guy lays it all out on the table before we’ve even talked enough to call it a date. Example from last summer at The Rack in Woodland Hills:

Cute guy (before he got trashed): I’m going to take you home and eat you out so hard…

Me: Shhh…save that for the second date. I like to keep the mystery.

That one wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

I realize that it’s hard to go up to complete strangers and start conversation with them. I didn’t really feel comfortable doing that until I started working hospitality, so the person you’ve interacted with as of late didn’t blossom until about 5 years ago. And the only thing that got me going is that I got tired of being the wallflower and relying on others to make the introduction for me. But there’s something to be said of a man of mystery.

That’s why I’m put off by this “ice breaker” of an email:

Hello,
My name is [Guy From the Internet]. I am [in my late 20's]. I am a good man with a good head on his shoulders. I am honest, sincere, trustworthy, kindhearted, passionate, good looking, straightforward, open minded, upright, laidback, and always a happy person. I have a good sense of humor and will make you laugh a lot. I am adventureous. I am fun loving. I listen to 50′s,60′s, 70′s classic rock and oldies, some 80′s classic rock, jazz, blues, reggae and alternative. I love to sing and dance. I write my own song lyrics. I like watching all kinds of movies. I like going to concerts, clubs, the movies, and amusement parks. I like playing tennis, basketball, baseball, and volleyball. I like hiking, bike riding, and riding the waves. I love to cook. I love to travel. I looked at your profile and liked what I saw. I like to do a lot of the same things for fun and like some of the same music artists as you. Let’s get to know each other. Let’s have coffee sometime. Where in Los Angeles are you? I am [slightly farther away from you]. Let’s meet in between. Email me at [someemailaddress]@hotmail.com or better still call me at my cell [(555)555-5555].
from,
[GFI]


What, no medical information? How am I supposed to know if my blood type is compatible with yours if we decided to get hitched and have kids?

Don’t mind me, kiddos. That’s just the smart ass in me coming out.

This one is slightly better, but not by much:

hiya miss kae;)
i’m housesitting in culver city and booooored lol
looking for a cute tall boytoy?
message me sometime!
you’re absolutely beautiful


No mind games, no advertising of his future plans, and at least I don’t have to worry about commitments.

Maybe I should rephrase my disinterest in meeting someone through the drawer at 8 oz and make the public statement that I’m open to the possibility.

Ha. Yeah, right.

There’s nothing wrong in keeping a little bit of mystery. That’s part of the fun in discovering and developing relationships with others. Even though the Slackmistress announced my personal status, and even though I told the viewers that I shower naked about 47 or so minutes into the webcast, I still leave a little bit of sleuthing for the rest of you.