Can I Seduce You, Mrs. I?

My mom works for an elementary school in Los Angeles. As such, she receives Christmas presents from her co-workers and students. One of the gifts she received this year was a pair of earrings and two necklaces. Although not at all in her taste, they actually were quite pretty. The first necklace was this:


I’m thinking I’ll be borrowing this in the near future. The other necklace, on the other hand, is a little tricky to wear:


I actually had to pull down my shirt in order to show the whole thing. I’m guessing this is what it would look like if I actually had boobs (like some of my friends):


This gift cracks me up. My mom is not one to wear anything low cut, so this necklace is completely wasted. I’m not that tall, so unless I get invited to some kind of industry dinner party or am on a date, I won’t be wearing this any time soon either.

My father actually said that it looks like a third nipple on me. *cough* Thanks, Dad.

Maybe the gift giver is trying to drop hints that my mom should put a little more effort into her appearance. (I’ve been threatening for years that I’m going to submit her picture to Oprah for a makeover.) Maybe it’s a clue that they want her to show a little bit more around campus to make their day better. Maybe it’s a reverse Mrs. Robinson situation where the younger person is trying to seduce the middle-aged lady. Or maybe I’m making mountains out of mole hills.

Wait. Do we have moles in LA?

  1. Please forgive me for being a pessimist, but I just think it was a re-gift.

  2. You know, Vicoria’s Secret has a wonderful selection of bras to help with that cleavage problem. If that doesn’t work, there is always Duct Tape.

  3. @Green To be honest, I’d be a lot more relieved if it was a re-gift! A lot of the kids who go to this school are on the ghetto side, and some of the presents my mom’s received in the past make me wince (fluffy pink knock-off Snuggy, anyone?). I know it’s the thought that counts, but sometimes I wonder what’s going on through those kids’ heads.

  4. @BrooklynBeast Never heard of Vicoria’s Secret; is it like Victoria’s Secret?

  5. Did somebody say something about boobs?

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