Skinny Bitches

Los Angeles is a very visual town. Unfortunately it applies to the people who live here as well. And my ass (what little of it I do possess, being Asian) has not been an active member of Bally’s for quite some time.

An hour of cardio is a very hard thing to accomplish. It’s not the physical acitivity that gets to me, but the mental capacity to tolerate the bad soundtrack around me. Can you honestly say you could spend an hour on the elliptical while the daycare center puts “Dora the Explorer” on a loop? Let’s up the ante and say that particular episode is trying to teach kids what instruments sound like and repeats the sound one by one.

It’s like going on a picnic, except no one remembered to bring food or fun activities.

I tried to balance this out by creating my own playlist on my iPod. Any song that made me feel like I could run to it or imagine myself dancing in a music video was included, and this worked for a while. The hard part was what to look at. And being on a piece of cardio equipment, there’s not a whole lot for you to gaze at. My choices were: closed captioning of ESPN or closed captioning of CNN. Fast moving mouths with very slow text. Sometimes the last paragraph didn’t even make the text and they would quit at the start of a commercial.

I finally decided to give video on my iPod a chance. A near full hour of my attention is diverted to whatever’s on my tiny screen, and I’m getting a full workout.

And dramas that feature skinny bitches works like a charm.

For example, “The L Word.” I’ve had my issues with them in the past (here and here), but this show works a treat in terms of me getting back into shape. They’re all skinny and all of them are attractive. (If I were gay, Helena and Bette would definitely be on my “to do” list.) And it motivates me not to give up as soon as I’m feeling winded.

Yes, I know I wasn’t built to look like any of them. Yes, I know they get paid to look like that. But when you live in LA and dress sizes 0 through 6 are always the first to go, you feel compelled to at least work on your figure. (It also doesn’t help that Margaret Cho now has a very nice body – I miss her chubby girl figure.)

This is where I need your input. I’m almost done with the 6th season of “The L Word” and need more show suggestions that are on a similar line. Sadly, comedy is out of the question, as I am truly uncoordinated during physical activity and would probably injure myself (best case scenario). (And “The Office” would have been awesome to work out to, but unfortunately their antics cause me to do the spit-on-screen laugh and that’s dangerous when your heart rate is over 170 beats per minute.)

Any suggestions or even alternative methods are welcomed and greatly appreciated!

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