I Hate My Neighbors

My next door neighbors are not the darlings of Candy Cane Lane. (And yes, my street has been nicknamed that due to its shape.) Pretty much every single neighborly annoyance you can think of can be attributed to this family, from being too noisy to possibly selling drugs (please see all items for the term “sugar”). I took one for the team and have reported them once to the police and once to City Council – that’s how much they irritate me.

For the past two years, my annoyance has grown tenfold. And it’s not because of the noise levels, the late night pool parties, or the decision to shoot fireworks towards the trees on the Fourth of July.

These people are guilty of dog negligence.

Almost two years ago, my neighbors got a puppy. I didn’t notice anything until my 14 year old dog attempted to lunge out of the front door to investigate the blonde blur that was running freely through the neighborhood. A new puppy is the equivalent to a new baby, and we were all excited about this new arrival.

Then the puppy stopped being a puppy and started to grow into a full-sized adult.

It’s almost like the kids stopped playing with him the second he started going through the awkward stage – the one where the puppy is all legs and elbows and not much else.

This literally broke my heart. Especially because the dog was a golden (who I mistook for a lab).

And who in this country does not want a golden? It’s always within the top fucking five of the top ten most popular dog breeds!

The lack of attention was just the start. The wife completely ignores the dog, the kids maybe pat him on the head, and the husband takes him out for a morning walk maybe four times a week.


That’s the face I used to get through the old fence. Any time he heard me or my dog walk out to the backyard, he’d come running over and put his nose through.

I have seen him left in the rain, seen him ignored by his family, and am truly tired of seeing him stare longingly through the kitchen window of the house (and occasionally crying), trying to get someone’s attention. The dog isn’t even two yet!

I absolutely cannot even tell you guys how angry this makes me. No dog should ever want for attention, and I wish it were bad enough for me to be able to report my neighbors. Unfortunately the dog is healthy and I do hear food being poured into a dish every day, so unless I get some hardcore evidence, I really can’t do anything.

Except make angry rants on my blog.

If he just pushed a little bit harder, he could make it to freedom.

I am near tempted to cut a bigger hole in the fence so he might be able to escape jump through for visits. And if you happen to see me in the local news being charged with dog napping, I will state now that I have absolutely no regrets.

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