Something You Never Want to Hear

I work less than a quarter of a mile away from LAX. Security (although half-assed by my standards) is pretty tight around here: everyone from managers to the valet drivers have been trained on what to do in case someone or something looks even vaguely suspicious.

TSA used to hold orientation and training sessions for new recruits at my place of employment. (I say used to because their contract expired at the end of last month.) Dozens of people would show up in their street clothing at the start of the week and be in full uniform a week or two later. I wish I could say I felt safer having them in the building, but nothing could be further from the truth.

For one thing, a lot of the people who came for training looked like the people that work at the DMV. For another, they added their own “flair” to their uniformed appearance: cornrows, brightly bleached hair with dark one inch roots, bright lipstick, big pieces of bling, or their bluetooth earpiece wedged in at all times.

Would these people risk their lives to protect us? Or would they hesitate because their chains might set off the metal detector?

The icing on the cake was hearing someone say, “I failed the hand detector test” as I passed by the room. *cough* That is the last thing I ever want to hear come out of a uniformed security person who works in one of the largest international airports in the world.

I should have turned around, saluted that speaker, and said with complete sincerity, “Thank you for keeping us safe.”

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