Quoth Margaret Cho: “I Ovulate Sand.”

My good friend Stephanie of Tales from the Gutter just posted a blurb about lacking the desire to have babies.


I am not graceful with children. My BFF jen0r can attest to this as the first time I held her second son: I almost dropped him because my arms were so rigid. I have a slight panic attack any time a small child stares intently at me. They must sense it, because they’re hesitant to come near me.

I think a spider would come to me faster than a child would, and you all know how much I love spiders.

But as Stephanie points out, it’s not that I don’t love them. I’m thrilled to know that Jen’s first boy automatically thinks it’s me whenever someone rings the front doorbell. I love that they call me “Auntie Kathryn” every time I come to visit.

Yet I’m not really looking to have children. Pets, yes (especially those of the canine variety) but kids are on the back-burner right now. You know, somewhere nestled between buying the house, finding a job I can sort of enjoy, and getting back into the dating game for reals this time around.

The only spontaneous reason I’d even consider carrying a child for 9 months out of the year is so I can pop him/her in one of these little numbers:


And to keep from “Idiocracy” from becoming true.

    • njudah
    • September 4th, 2009 11:37pm

    I know where you took that picture………

  1. You didn’t almost drop him- don’t be silly! Ok, you are a bit stiff, but I was too when I held children that weren’t mine before actually having children. Mostly because you keep thinking in the back of your mind, “you break it, you buy it.”

    You know, since #3 is on the way I’m hoping you’ll finally relax a bit!

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