Go Girl! (Literally)

Earlier today the Slackmistress wrote a post on a mysterious pink can of Her sitting on on a table. She closed it out with a story about boobs, which is probably something more tasteful than I’m about to share.

Last year my company decided to participate in the Global Corporate Challenge, which is a gimmick to basically get Corporate America off of its ass and walk around a little bit more. This involved wearing a pedometer for 4 months and trying to take about 10,000 steps per day. In groups of 7, you and your team would walk “around the world” and compete with other companies in different countries.

We did this mainly as a dare: boys against girls. My General Manager made up a team of the male department heads and made a bet that they could beat the female department heads and willing female admins. We took up their challenge and even went as far as trying to get some free items to promote our goal and to kick ass.

Long story short, we managed to get about 20 promotional cases of Go Girl energy drinks. They claimed to be sugar free, so I had to really inspect the can to make sure there wasn’t any aspartame in it (that’s a major migraine starter for me). It came out clean and I didn’t get a headache after taking a few sips, but some of the ingredients bothered me. Apart from the multi-syllable words, one ingredient in particular stood out:

Sodium Hexametaphosphate

According to Wikipedia, this agent is used for water softening and to help break down clay. Which means this drink has crap in it that breaks down stuff in your stomach.

Which helped make one of the admins more “regular” (something she admitted in private).

So, Slackmistress, I can tell you with complete honesty that I’d rather have bigger boobs than more bowel movements from my female energy drink.

  1. Eww.

  1. May 18th, 2009
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