Where’s the Mystery?

I’ve got to say, being a single girl who primarily networks through the internet for “normal” people is tricky. It’s not so much in trying to find someone to date, but coming across someone who’s comfortable enough to communicate via chat and email in a similar way as they would with people they meet at cocktail parties. (Yes, I realize that libations probably help more. But still…)

As of late it almost seems like guys aren’t really trying to keep the mystery any more when they try to hit a girl up. Traditional roles say that I should be the one who makes the guy work for it, but there have been a few occasions where the guy lays it all out on the table before we’ve even talked enough to call it a date. Example from last summer at The Rack in Woodland Hills:

Cute guy (before he got trashed): I’m going to take you home and eat you out so hard…

Me: Shhh…save that for the second date. I like to keep the mystery.

That one wasn’t as bad as it could have been.

I realize that it’s hard to go up to complete strangers and start conversation with them. I didn’t really feel comfortable doing that until I started working hospitality, so the person you’ve interacted with as of late didn’t blossom until about 5 years ago. And the only thing that got me going is that I got tired of being the wallflower and relying on others to make the introduction for me. But there’s something to be said of a man of mystery.

That’s why I’m put off by this “ice breaker” of an email:

Hello,
My name is [Guy From the Internet]. I am [in my late 20’s]. I am a good man with a good head on his shoulders. I am honest, sincere, trustworthy, kindhearted, passionate, good looking, straightforward, open minded, upright, laidback, and always a happy person. I have a good sense of humor and will make you laugh a lot. I am adventureous. I am fun loving. I listen to 50’s,60’s, 70’s classic rock and oldies, some 80’s classic rock, jazz, blues, reggae and alternative. I love to sing and dance. I write my own song lyrics. I like watching all kinds of movies. I like going to concerts, clubs, the movies, and amusement parks. I like playing tennis, basketball, baseball, and volleyball. I like hiking, bike riding, and riding the waves. I love to cook. I love to travel. I looked at your profile and liked what I saw. I like to do a lot of the same things for fun and like some of the same music artists as you. Let’s get to know each other. Let’s have coffee sometime. Where in Los Angeles are you? I am [slightly farther away from you]. Let’s meet in between. Email me at [someemailaddress]@hotmail.com or better still call me at my cell [(555)555-5555].
from,
[GFI]


What, no medical information? How am I supposed to know if my blood type is compatible with yours if we decided to get hitched and have kids?

Don’t mind me, kiddos. That’s just the smart ass in me coming out.

This one is slightly better, but not by much:

hiya miss kae;)
i’m housesitting in culver city and booooored lol
looking for a cute tall boytoy?
message me sometime!
you’re absolutely beautiful


No mind games, no advertising of his future plans, and at least I don’t have to worry about commitments.

Maybe I should rephrase my disinterest in meeting someone through the drawer at 8 oz and make the public statement that I’m open to the possibility.

Ha. Yeah, right.

There’s nothing wrong in keeping a little bit of mystery. That’s part of the fun in discovering and developing relationships with others. Even though the Slackmistress announced my personal status, and even though I told the viewers that I shower naked about 47 or so minutes into the webcast, I still leave a little bit of sleuthing for the rest of you.

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