Archive for April, 2009

Holy – (Or, Safe Happens)

I was in a car accident last night. I took my IT manager with me to dinner and then dropped him off back at work. On my way home, going east on La Tijera to catch the 405 North. There was a loud crunch and my airbags deployed.

After the shock of getting out and being asked by people if I was okay, those VW commercials for the Jetta a while back came to mind:

Thank goodness for witnesses. I have no idea what happened, but I was told by three different people that a car had cut me off making a left turn.

The paramedics and the LAPD were surprised that I didn’t have much more than some bruising and some skin irritation (I used the term “stingy” when asked how I was feeling).

My car most likely is totalled, as is the other car. I feel that not only did the airbags and seatbelt help save me, but my Beetle’s incredibly deep dashboard probably protected me from getting really hurt. I am incredibly thankful that no glass from my car shattered and that no bones are broken. The worst of my injuries is a large meat bruise near my left hip.

I’m also thankful for my mom coming to the accident site. I was really shaken up after the whole thing and could barely sign my name on the police report. She thought to take down the license plate number, the police officer’s name and badge number, and ask questions.

I’ve always been a pro-seat belt girl, but now I will sing its praises to every single person I meet.

I am also hoping that I’ll find another used Beetle in a decent price range. After last night, I don’t really trust being in other cars.

I’m Almost Crazy Enough To Do It

Yesterday I mentioned to a newly made acquaintence that I had just baked banana bread, and asked if he would like any.

Mind you, this person lives in Oakland. However, he said yes, so I asked him what the fastest method of delivery would be.

He said hand delivery, clearly.

I asked him if he’d be awake at midnight.

He said yes and then asked why.

I told him that that would be the earliest the bread would arrive.

He asked me how serious I was being.

I said that I’d send someone up there.

Unless that was a dare for me to actually drive up and personally deliver baked goods.

He said that it was a tempting idea.

And I almost went to Oakland, just because I like going on spur-of-the-moment car trips.

What stopped me isn’t so much the craziness of the idea – it’s the realization that I’d have to stop somewhere at night in the middle of the state of California to get gas (I can get about 320 miles on a full tank, but it’s over 500 from LA to Oakland).

If it were earlier in the day, maybe…

Subject: *headdesk*

It’s a slow day in the office, and I was so efficient in the morning hours that it left me with nothing to do in the afternoon.

Until this Guest Assistance file popped into my inbox.

Note: the email below is taken in its exact context.

Can I just say that the fact that you do not have in room internet is a embarrassment?! Then on top of that when I go to the “business center” every other website I go to is closed (facebook, sportsline). Hey here is a tip, it is 2009!!!! dumba$$es you are the only hotel in the world that charges 9.99 a night for internet.

First off, the hotel I work at does have wifi connection in all 1,234 rooms. Where this guest’s wireless card is, I’m not sure.

Second, I’m not sure what hotel he was in, as the going wifi rate is $12.95 for 1 day or $5.95 for 1 hour.

Third, I’m thinking the first response was denied, since there’s the usage of the “$” instead of the letter “s” for “dumbasses”.

This is the standard response I crank out when we get internet fee complaints:

Dear [guest],

Thank you for taking your personal time to share comments from your recent visit to the [hotel]. Our individual guest feedback is absolutely the most useful tool in targeting areas of opportunity in the hotel and the most accurate method of measuring overall guest satisfaction. I know that you took time out of your day to share your thoughts with us and want to extend my gratitude.

The hotel is extremely conscious of any additional fees our guests incur, internet especially. Each month our Guest Services team completes a survey of our neighboring hotels to ensure our pricing structure is competitive in all areas. Our internet rates average about $12.95/24 hours and fall in the median range of the various hotels in the [Los Angeles] area. We are empathetic that additional fees are viewed as an inconvenience and I apologize that this may have had an impact on your visit.

Should you have any other comments or suggestions for us to help make your next stay a better one, please let me know.

Warm Regards,


I sincerely hope this guest gets annoyed enough to write back to me. :D

Day Of The Donut/Doughnut

homerYou say ketchup, I [rarely] say catsup.

But that’s not what this post is about.

Those crazy kids over at like to celebrate things. And it seems that this coming Thursday is Day of the Donut!, where Flickr (one person in particular that I may or may not have the beginnings of a crush on) encourages you to grab some friends and head over to your local donut hole (no pun intended, seeing as how Dunkin’ Donuts’ munchkins aren’t available in California). They even want photographic evidence!

I’m thinking about participating, but still iffy on whether or not I’ll take pictures. Rumor is that LA people will be migrating over to Randy’s Donuts around noon to celebrate; if I can sneak away from the office for a second, you might just see me in the background of someone’s picture.

There’s That Eerie Music Again…

I bought the Complete Far Side volumes right when they came out, but am ashamed to say that I’ve only read them once in their entirety. Being on a very tight budget, I’m now going through every book/DVD/VHS I own for entertainment.

I can’t remember if it’s the first or second volume, but there’s a cartoon of two men sitting in a boat in the middle of the ocean. Underneath them is a large shark, poised with its mouth open, ready to jump out. The caption below the cartoon reads something along the lines of, “Hey, there’s that eerie music again.” It’s a funny cartoon, but it also made me a little sad.

As a child, I hated the theme music from “Jaws”. It scared the bejesus out of me and it only took about one measure from my dad to get me screaming. However, I feel that if I’d had the opportunity to watch that movie with my grandpa, I would have found the movie to be hilarious at a much younger age.

My mom had taken my grandma and grandpa to see “Jaws” in the theater shortly after it opened. As the movie progressed, my grandpa took it upon himself to yell (in broken English) at the screen, “Get out of the water! Can’t you hear the music?! The shark is coming!” My mom was absolutely mortified; her saving grace was that it was the early matinee so the theater wasn’t full.

Coming across that cartoon brought a smile to my face. I miss my grandpa and to pay tribute, I always make sure I yell at the TV when “Jaws” is on.

Don’t You Hate It…

…when you have an epiphany in the shower that you want to share with the world, but by the time you finish drying your hair it’s nothing but a lost memory?

Yeah, it’s one of those moments.

I ♥ James Spader

Last week I got together with the Slackmistress and NoirBettie for a quick dinner at 8 oz. It wasn’t anything special, just a few ladies gathering together to partake of fabulous food and libations and gossip.

In the booth next to us were a couple of guys, one in his late teens/early 20’s and another one who looked to be in his 40’s. The younger one looked a lot like a friend of mine, but since I didn’t have my glasses on, I couldn’t really pick up the details of his face. Once I had clearer vision, I was slightly disappointed to see that the kid in question was not my friend. The pick-me-up was that the older guy was handsome, and better yet, bespectacled.

Closer inspection revealed that the attractive man was, in fact, James Spader.

Day 99

This has been the first time I’ve ever had a random celebrity sighting on a celeb I’d love to take to bed.

The problem in seeing a celebrity in person is that you need confirmation. I leaned over to the Slackmistress and quietly asked, “Is that James Spader?”

She glanced over and replied, “I think so.”

NoirBettie turned around, glanced at him, and then narrowed her eyes on me.

“I’ve had a crush on him longer than you have, but I’ll let you have him since you’re still single.”

All in all it was a good night. I got to see two ladies I rarely see in real time and I had a James Spader viewing. *swoon*

murphy parker

Fifteen years ago today, my baby boy was born.

Old Skool Murphy

Read more

Now With Asian Hotness

It’s not to say that the Slackmistress and Be The Boy aren’t made of hotness, but you’ve got to admit, an Asian chick makes things hotter to the xth power.

Live TV : Ustream

Even though I was the runner-up for the guest host spot on Be The Marriage, and I only had about 5 minutes of screen time about 47 minutes into the show (with some offside commentary and giggling), I’d like to think that I helped to boost ratings during my cameo.

Of course, I wouldn’t be there if it hadn’t been for the fabulous Slackmistress and Oslowe.

And Daisy J. Wonderdog, keeping me company in the wings (or using me for tummy rubs).

My Smart Ass Puts In Its Two Cents

There’s a hyperlink on Google for Google Latitude. Apparently it’ll help you find out where your friends are.

The smart ass in me says, “Pfft. I know where my friends are.”

In my heart.

Heh, you’re all a good crowd.