Meat Was Not Meant To Be Played With

I scan Wikipedia on a near daily basis at work. I figure I might as well learn something when I have downtime at work (as opposed to constantly refreshing Twitter to see if any of you have updated). So imagine my horror (and slight intrigue) when I saw the words Bacon Explosion in the Did You Know? section. And that horror grew when I realized that YouTube had actual video of this:



But it doesn’t stop there. Oh no. For you see, during my downtime yesterday afternoon at work, another meat monstrosity popped up: Chicken Fried bacon.

I honestly love meat. For years I avoided vegetables like the plague, nearly gagging any time a leafy green or a bite of carrot accidentally entered my mouth. Even with the threat of high cholesterol in my family, it took a very, very long time before I finally accepted a serving of peas as being a legit side dish. I’m even a proud owner of this shirt, which I have worn amongst my vegetarian friends:

Threadless


However, I believe that meat should be treated carefully. The Bacon Explosion and Chicken Fried bacon is almost like pissing in (insert your favorite deity)’s eye: something you could do, but probably shouldn’t mess around with. With this, who’s to say where the limit should be? It might spiral out of control, the way fried food has gone the way of deep-fried french fry-covered bacon.

Also, I also believe in keeping your colon healthy and preventing major anal leakage. But, that’s just me. :)

Seriously, this makes the “treats” I discovered at Rite Aid look healthy:

mozzarella sticksketchup fries

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