well, you're in the wrong place.

In my Twitter clique, you don’t have to throw many pebbles to find that you’re closely connected to someone you’d like to meet but just aren’t aware of it yet. That’s how I came across @DrawMyTweet.

The gist of it is, you throw an interesting tweet at ‘em and they’ll illustrate it.

With hilarious results.

Take this one, for example. A tweet made by my good friend, the Slackmistress, went from this to this. Pretty clever, yes?

Did you want something a little more surreal? What about a cactus on an IV drip?

Conan O’Brien’s first tweet has also been imortalized right here. The blue jay in the background is there for a reason. :)

And guess what? The kind artist even did a little drawing for me. I am not up to par with the amazing tweets that have been sent in, so it took me a little while to dig through my archives before I found something that could be remotely amusing. And this is what I received in return.

Seriously, it’s full of win for two reasons:
1. Draw My Tweet already considers me awesome, even though we have not met in person yet (and I believe that will be something happening in the near future).
2. An unnecessary apology was made for “crappy penmanship” on the part that read “William J. Clinton Int’l Nookie Club.” Personally, I was thrilled that was thrown in there – Slick Willie and I share a birthday on August 19th.

It’s almost as if Draw My Tweet already knew me. And that’s pretty flattering.

The best part of this whole experience is that anyone can shoot a tweet to them and ask for a picture. I highly recommend that you get in your request now before they really take off and you’ve got a waiting period of months before you see your 140 (or less) characters in animated form.

Woody’s BBQ in Inglewood makes pretty good food. Probably the only major downsides to this place are the parking and this:

Ew.

I was browsing through the produce section at my neighborhood Trader Joe’s and saw a sign for Pink Lady apples.

With fondness, I recalled the Pink Lady from my childhood. Not this Pink Lady, but this Pink Lady. And even though they broke up the year before I was born, they made the circuits of the Japanese variety shows that my parents and grandparents loved to watch every week.

This is the only song I really can remember them singing:



Imagine my surprise when I saw that there’s a 30th anniversary version of this song, sung by the same two ladies.



I had to add the song title to the duo’s name before I found it on YouTube, because I’m guessing that wasn’t the biggest hit they had during their short lived career. If you ask my dad nicely, he’d probably be able to belt out a collection of their greatest hits between 1979 and 1980. I’m sure if I dig through the record collection, I might find a “Best Of Japan” somewhere.

The best part about this flashback experienced with you guys? Seeing how they’ve improved the way “Wanted” gets pronounced.

I cannot thank you guys enough for the well wishes and good vibes you sent my grandma’s way. They must have worked because she’s back at home, resting. Not sure what her condition is at the moment, but at least she’s somewhere comfortable.

And my laptop is back and functioning. Thank you to my IT guys.

My half-birthday wish at this point: to have the means to see my therapist again. I’ll give twenty years of my life for two months’ worth of sessions. Thirty if you can make it four months’ worth.

Los Angeles is a very visual town. Unfortunately it applies to the people who live here as well. And my ass (what little of it I do possess, being Asian) has not been an active member of Bally’s for quite some time.

An hour of cardio is a very hard thing to accomplish. It’s not the physical acitivity that gets to me, but the mental capacity to tolerate the bad soundtrack around me. Can you honestly say you could spend an hour on the elliptical while the daycare center puts “Dora the Explorer” on a loop? Let’s up the ante and say that particular episode is trying to teach kids what instruments sound like and repeats the sound one by one.

It’s like going on a picnic, except no one remembered to bring food or fun activities.

I tried to balance this out by creating my own playlist on my iPod. Any song that made me feel like I could run to it or imagine myself dancing in a music video was included, and this worked for a while. The hard part was what to look at. And being on a piece of cardio equipment, there’s not a whole lot for you to gaze at. My choices were: closed captioning of ESPN or closed captioning of CNN. Fast moving mouths with very slow text. Sometimes the last paragraph didn’t even make the text and they would quit at the start of a commercial.

I finally decided to give video on my iPod a chance. A near full hour of my attention is diverted to whatever’s on my tiny screen, and I’m getting a full workout.

And dramas that feature skinny bitches works like a charm.

For example, “The L Word.” I’ve had my issues with them in the past (here and here), but this show works a treat in terms of me getting back into shape. They’re all skinny and all of them are attractive. (If I were gay, Helena and Bette would definitely be on my “to do” list.) And it motivates me not to give up as soon as I’m feeling winded.

Yes, I know I wasn’t built to look like any of them. Yes, I know they get paid to look like that. But when you live in LA and dress sizes 0 through 6 are always the first to go, you feel compelled to at least work on your figure. (It also doesn’t help that Margaret Cho now has a very nice body – I miss her chubby girl figure.)

This is where I need your input. I’m almost done with the 6th season of “The L Word” and need more show suggestions that are on a similar line. Sadly, comedy is out of the question, as I am truly uncoordinated during physical activity and would probably injure myself (best case scenario). (And “The Office” would have been awesome to work out to, but unfortunately their antics cause me to do the spit-on-screen laugh and that’s dangerous when your heart rate is over 170 beats per minute.)

Any suggestions or even alternative methods are welcomed and greatly appreciated!